It’s a Transit Oriented Christmas

It’s a Transit Oriented Christmas

In a move to reduce carbon emissions, and under pressure from sustainability groups, Santa has been forced to abandon his lightning-fast sleigh. As we all know, emissions from livestock are higher than all transportation combined (see Wikipedia entry) so Rudolph and his reindeer friends have been forced to go. Santa will now be taking transit to conduct all of his deliveries in a move to reduce his excessively large emissions footprint. With the substantial amount of travel that he performs – delivering to every address annually using a livestock powered vehicle – sustainability groups and transit advocates have successfully won a lawsuit requiring Santa to switch to alternate “green” transportation methods such as transit. Consideration of emissions of alternative transportation methods, even though lower in emissions than transit, was not allowed under California Senate Bill 375 – as this bill focuses emissions reductions exclusively on cars and light trucks. Santa’s New Delivery Schedule Due to connection times, weather delays and limited night bus and train schedules this now means that the following changes are effective immediately, starting Christmas 2013: – package deliveries to children will now occur once every 100 years. Regretfully  this means four out of five children will not experience a single gift delivery at Christmas. Parents have been instructed to explain to their children that this is for the greater good to save the planet, and to reminisce with their memories of Christmases past. – Darrell Steinberg, leader of the California State Senate has succeeded in passing new legislation in Senate Bill 666 whereupon children living in high density housing near transit will still receive annual deliveries. He expressed that this is to help the building industry and denied his legislation having any relationship...